facts that i cannot handle now

Its may 11,Sunday. My exams ended on 3rd.Have been lazing around till now. Nothing useful.Checked out a website called emuparadise.org, I have been to it already,but what gave me interest in it was its creator. He a guy from India (i m one too), born 1986, fr me its 1987. I saw his bio and it struck me on the head like a hammer.Man this guy almost the same age as me created such a thing and he did that in 2000 almost 7 years ago. Its a cool website having tens of thousands of hits a day and still gets more and more people coming to it.

Now i ask my self, what have i been doing all my life. Its an insult to me that i cannot shift the blame to someone else. All my life i have been shifting blames to others,finding faults(and really good at it), but never doing anything productive. I haven't got any special skills, never learnt any either, have a bad quality of life and don't know if i m gonna clear my final semester exams or not.If not it will hit me like a lightning straight on top of my head.I would not be able to escape
 facts as i have done so till now. Facts that slap my face saying that i m worthless.Is this what 
i want ,isn't there any way to change this.Is my life going to stay like this forever.
am i doomed because of my inability to be as productive as my peers. have i gone mad.

I don't know. What is wrong with me. I am not able to answer questions that are about me.

I may be crazy right now or all this is coming out of imagination.But it is nice to let it out or i think its nice.

Reality , do i have the ability to face it. NO. Not in this state. The problem here is that i am not taking actions when necessary and even when i know what i need to do.Why am i not? That may be due to reason that i am lazy to a great extent, or feel the ultimate question "What next", if  u keep asking this question again and again there will be no reason for us to exist, or there is something that is genetically within me that stops me from progressing.
The obvious reason is the environment that i grew in. But that will be shifting the blame to someone or something else.

Having said this,I feel a little better now.

SO what am i going to do now.I know what i want to do but is it what i need to do. That is a question i can only answer with more experience.Experience is something that i cannot gain by sitting in my house doing nothing more than watching TV and playing games.
There are other things too fr which i would need a lot more guts, than what i have now, to say.
Lets save that fr another day.

Anyway lets go to the daily happenings
I bought a psp in the net. Used one. It will most probably  arrive tomorrow or the day after that.
Hope its a good one.

Later.